Giancarlo Stanton Reportedly Will Only Accept Trade to Yankees, Astros, Dodgers, and Cubs, I Reportedly Need New Underwear

Screen Shot 2017-12-08 at 12.44.47 AM


December 8, 2017 12:39 am

Giancarlo Stanton, the $295 million dollar man is the trade MLB fans are waiting for this offseason.  As we know, the Marlins are looking to unload his behemoth of a contract on any team that’ll take it.  The Marlins had reached trade agreements with St. Louis and San Francisco, but were quickly shut down by Stanton’s no trade clause.  Thursday night, Stanton narrowed his list of teams he would accept a trade to to four: NYY, HOU, LAD, and the gosh darn CHC.

There’s still a long way to go, of course.  Stanton’s input doesn’t mean jack squat if Theo doesn’t put the pieces together to get him, or even if he wants to.  But the thought of that mountain man in blue and white pinstripes makes me jumpy.  I’d take a Schwarber, Heyward, Stanton outfield over any offensive line in the NFL.


Theo has said earlier this offseason that he doesn’t plan on going over the MLB luxury tax, making this move all but impossible.  And with the Cubs having the second best offense in the NL last year behind the Mile High Rockies, it’s evident that pitching is the missing link on this team, with Theo already making moves for Tyler Chatwood earlier today.

But the mere thought that Stanton wants to come here makes me happy, even if we’re a long shot.  Players want to be a part of what’s buzzing on 1060 W Addison, and I don’t blame them.  Just close your eyes and imagine Kris Bryant batting with Rizzo on deck and Stanton holding a bat on the dugout steps. Now open them. Now get a tissue and get your self together.